how's it like tt?

i saw zy's blog n i think shes rite... made me feel better... about love... but it's so diplomatic n universal... like coz, we've so many other factors n issues involved... i thank her for those words, but...

i dont wanna feel this way... but i cant help it... u pushed it this far...

u know how much it hurts to know u, yes u, of all ppl, actually ignored something ive mentioned before? im not assumin, i know u knew... i really duno if u can imagine it... it strikes me as u dont care... or u wanna try me... but even for tt, ive forgiven u... coz it's true, i just love u much enough to make me hate fights between us... the feelin sucks honestly...

but u blew it as once again, u showed me tt side of u... how tough it is on u... u see, i understand the things u go thru... like u said, how u put up w me the whole day, how i was mum on the issue n was unfair to u... i admit to all those... but all u transmit across is how tough it is on u to be w me... it's always like, "something's wrong here, u find something's wrong there too","im moody, so ur moody," n "im angry, so ur equally angry"... i duno if im too sensitive or wat... the time spent thinkin has led me to ask, is it a pride thing? are u too proud?

i'll tell u wat i wan... i didnt expect tiz to turn so bad... coz it's straightforward... all i wanted was a lousy, but sincere apology, without any of the usual "other" issues tt u tend to bring up... it would be like any other apology we would make everyday... but u had to say something didnt u? u actually asked me to think thru? i think it's laughable really... when u were the 1 who hurt me isnt it?

the side of u which i cant change... am i wrong to try changin u? some may think so... tt im restrictive, i cant compromise... but am i wrong to change something i cant grow to like or accommodate, something which may destroy us?

it makes me question alot of things... like i sometimes, actually dont really know u at all... or i cant truly know u... wat zy posted makes so much sense, but tt's a perfect scenario... so many other things actually play a part... i wanna let my heart rule, but my head's holdin back...

n now after i blogged all this, im still apprehensive about how u'll hit me back... i'll be so disappointed if u answer me w ur defense again, but i can figure tt's how u'll react... im more than afraid to know ur reply...