Bad music is pure and virginal, forever bridesmaid to good music. Bad music makes good music look good. It is selfless and sacrificial.
As such, bad music is a companion of the highest order. It will always be there for you, forever and a day. We can always laugh with bad music, and unlike many friends, we can even laugh at it. It is not proud. It is not easily angered.
Bad music is unfailing in its faithfulness. As we have been told, time after time, it will be there with you, until the end of the world. It will not think you are too fat or stupid. It will not think your breasts or penis are too small. Bad music is patient, bad music is kind. It keeps no record of wrongs.
Unlike good music, bad music is devoid of irony, wholly unpretentious, pure and simple every time. It does not boast. It does not require you to 'get' it. You might not 'get' the music of Zappa, but you will 'get' the music of Abba.
In spite of itself, bad music is useful, even potent, in its versatility. Play it at low volume and it will facilitate conversations at a dinner party. Play it at sustained high volumes and a prisoner will confess to all allegations.
We, lovers of bad music, disdain to conceal our views and aims. We openly declare our love for elevator music, pop-classical crossovers, smooth jazz, and mindless pop. Bad music lovers of all countries, unite!
Ang Song-Ming
sound artist, Singapore
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