i love your free spiriting, yet it is this very free spiriting i live in fear with all the time.

i am holding back so much. so much im not telling you. i wish i can but im too afraid.

scared you'd back off. scared you'd find this relationship grating, strenuous. scared you'd 'classify' me, discriminate me. scared you'd get scared.

so much is at stake for me.

i tried so hard to convince you into that leap of faith, that im the better person for you. i dont want you to think you 'ended one to get into another of the same'.

i pray for wisdom and strength to understand you better. and i pray for you to let me.

they say, we love someone for who they are, not despite of.

i dont know if you will think im trying to change you, or if you will understand i just wish for the best for us.