the way i like it...

i was outside... n i saw tiz girl... im not delving into how hot or attractive she is... put it tiz way, she's juz who she is... it was juz an accidental notice... i turned n saw her, holding some finger food, apparently a bun or sth... she glanced at me as well, n started chomping on her food so naturally... at tt moment, i thot it looked so cute n endearing... not her, but wat she did... bcoz, she didnt care how there were eyes, n wat those eyes may be thinkin... tell me, do u think it's easy to be chomping on food alone in a v public place, like a bus stop or walkin in the mall?

natural... tt abandon... feeling n having no restrictions... doing it the way she likes it... "who cares about their opinions?"... i think tts a quality... n it's a quality i look for in my partner... maybe it's a shadow of someone i once knew... maybe... i duno... but it's not a must lah, im not being selective n picky... still, nth wrong in having hope n ideals rite? haha... (hey, no stress ya? though i don't think u even read tiz blog)... when u can do such things so naturally, more often than not u can love freely as well... it's like a linked thing u know? to me lah, haha... n tts important... loving freely is an assurance... there are so many superficial relationships on the streets bcoz partners hide things...

how many of us can be so natural? i honestly haven seen many... n i know for 1 tt i myself cant be... to disregard the people n circumstances around us isnt easy... but to be able to is simply lovely...

them...

beside my bed... ive 2 large windows, n they have curtains... u see, these windows face the sun in the mornin... every mornin, my bed (hence, me as well), will be heated up... burnt... simply crazy to sleep... can imagine ya? irritated in ur sleep... sometimes i draw the curtains the previous nite, which can make the room quite stuffy... sometimes i juz unwillinly climb outta bed in the mornin to draw em... other times, i wake up at 11am (when i get to enjoy tt), fresh n lazy, coz the curtains have been drawn some time in my sleep n saved me from the trouble n sunburn...

beside my life... ive a dad... i don't know him well, n we don't really talk much... but i know he's a great dad... more so, a father... if u get wat i mean... always there, never backin off from his responsibilities... still, there's something between him n i... yet still, blood's thicker than water, n we both acknowledge it... however unspoken it is... n tiz early mornin i got a little restless in bed, n in my half-asleep mode, i saw my dad, quietly walked in... n drew the curtains...

there are definitely these people in ur life... not moved by me yet? juz slow down, take a look around... u will find em... it'll be ur greatest gift...

the road to ORD

im a month into off/leave... i haven clear Combat Shoot n 2nd year SOC... n i expected to be goin back for it... n the calls came in succession...

i went back a day earlier, for IMT... w tt Marksman on my left arm, ive a standard to maintain... it was a breeze then... but it wasnt necessary, i realised... aiyo! should hav gone back a day later lah... range day, my team was changed, n in came C4 sir, alvin, n tt big fat obnoxious clown medic leslie... weixin hit 29/30, i hit 28/30... but the 200 bucks flew away when our teammates, except alvin(u were great), screwed up their firing...

we are Specialists, we cant ORD w/o clearin a basic SOC... ive been trainin... goin for runs almost everyday while at home... day before Combat Shoot, i even went for a conditionin n route familiarisation (only my 2nd SOC in unit leh!) in SBO(minus helmet n rifle; plus 2 full bottles n 4 dummy magazines)... weixin was laughin at me, as usual, when he saw... "aiya now then train, got wat use! don't clear ur SOC earlier, now muz come back durin ORD off/leave to slog, haha" (sidenote: 3SG Ang Weixin is the only non-officer who pass SOC in tiz unit, in 9:10mins)... lucky i understand him, he always speak on impulse, n seldom mean it, n i disregarded his words... btw OC promised 3 day-off for passin SOC... i thot it was ridiculous... anw i didnt think i'd pass...

blow-by-blow account...

reached gatherin point- most looked at me w half-awe-half-alien eyes... why? jasper said, "juz look at Sgt Tianping's webbin, can confirm wat's the standard load liao"... i had removed my webbing stuff to the minimum load (sidenote: ive always, since Sispec, done SOC w all my Gortex, torch, rubber tapes, gloves, ration sachets, utensils etc)... weixin appeared, "can or not? haha"... zhongyuan saw me, "wah, ur back! my competitor come already"... too much attention... im doin my mental build-up, haha...

start point- was goin about my pre-SOC ritual n accidentally smacked my rifle butt into my face! specs were dislocated... aiya fuck it juz continue lah... my original detail comprisin of ORD personnel was reshuffled to supposedly create the fittest n most passable group... so ive benjy, commando, jasper, minhui n C4 sir w me... intimidatin but motivatin...

1st 700m- minhui went flyin off! i had told him the strategy of doin fast runs but slow obstacles, n he chionged... the best runner in my unit, whose SOC's only stumble's at jacob's ladder... jasper, who has never done SOC before, was hence paced by him... commando got nervous n followed... me, benjy n C4 controlled ourselves (we SOC lao jiaos wat!) n were trailin almost 60m... i was gettin breathless, but my load felt damn light...

low wall- commando got stuck... benjy beside me... i felt a 1st pain in my knee when i landed...
parallel bar- minhui surprisinly got stuck... arms felt strong, n the 1st time i thot tiz station is easy... felt 2nd pain in my knee when i landed...
low rope- reached jasper... but i was regainin myself so long tt he completed it, before benjy did too... felt 3rd pain in my knee when i landed...
swingin bridge- benjy stopped here for a breather, i juz hopped thru it...
balancin beam- felt 4th pain in my knee when i landed...
the gate- reached jasper...
jacob's ladder- 1st time i felt so unafraid n steady on it... maybe im really still fresh, which minimises the fear n wobbly legs...
high ramp- felt 5th pain in my knee when i landed...

last 600m- i ran like a monster... ive never done tiz lap in sucha fast speed n short time... i juz got fresher when i left the high ramp... n i didnt wan anyone to catch up from behind, especially minhui... now im left w jasper 15m ahead... n i overtook him w 300m left...

8:59mins... not a superb timing, but Personal-Best... durin Sispec was 9:06mins... any ORD personnel did SOC faster than their command school days? now im 1 month from ORD, n ive still 5 off days to fill up my already-packed calendar w...

it's currently 38hours after the test... n my knee feel spoilt... shit... it has taken its toll...