the gratitude is mine

"yea so hope u like it. i just wanna thank u for everything... and a whole lot of other nonsense. since duno how long ago."

"although things are kinda different now, whatever happened was real and i really enjoyed it. i hope we can still be (good) friends and know that i'll be there if u need me."

"somehow e words didnt really come out right. but anyway words are probably not enough to express my gratitude."

thank u. i just needed to hear it from u all along. that everything we had was real.

no. e gratitude is mine. thank u for what we had.

*

i proceeded to break down in an mrt train carriage, with a whole row of people seated opposite me. what a place to read sucha letter.

anyway. i think this is gonna be e one song that defines our rship. or should i say, e loss and e pain. u know such songs always come at that critical moment. u can always trust that they do. i was at my most agonising while driving back when it came on e radio.

吃不能吃 睡不能睡
没有了你 全都不对
我都学不会 把爱敷衍
用笑容来把眼泪催眠

笑不能笑 哭不敢哭
人不像人 鬼不像鬼
朋友都说这 不过失恋
但我却连呼吸都胆怯

能不能不爱了 因为爱太痛了
我痛得快死了 却无法把你忘了
能不能不爱了 爱情它太痛了
我痛得快死了 却无法把爱割舍
我不能睡

我不能够 不能够不爱了