birthdayweek

i havent done this, i realised, since eons ago. for all the writing i do, not sure if this would turn out sounding too secondary school-ish. but nonetheless, it's appropriate.

im talking about these long appreciation notes. i realised i havent been that human in recent years to give thanks. my last time was probably with my beloved pugi family, which is maybe why we are so close. so before anything, i wanna apologise to my wkwsci and hall friends if i havent been a "friend" (i know i havent). you might not know it but you are as important to me as anyone.

it's been such an eventful birthday and birthday-week, culminating in this. dont read on if you're looking for exceptional writing. then again you might just be quoted. :)

i never expected my 24th to mean so much, not as an age in itself but through what took place that week. ironic thing is, eileen reminded me what i confided in her last year - worried no one would remember my birthday and i wouldn't get sms wishes, largely due to the fact that i know i dont have many close friends in ntu. i really dont recall why i was so affected by that scenario last year. but anyway, sweet sweet eileen bombarded all the pugi peeps to must sms me, therefore i got a barrage from them. dont recall many friends outside that group did.

this time, i really didnt give a damn. eileen reminded me, but i told her somehow i dont care anymore. think im old already. it was this mentality that made what followed extra surprising.

on monday, xinmsn's colleagues started the ball rolling by asking me out for a birthday lunch. i was really touched. they've been very nice people in my time there and the gesture said a lot about them as humans.

tuesday was my family. i know it's odd but im always so busy the days around my birthday i wont have time for them. it was a nice, simple dinner. you know you'll always have your family there no matter how low things get. and they'll always bother to celebrate. although i waited quite long alone for them, i was ok. except for that my sis directed me to the wrong place a good 1km away when i already had the right address.

wednesday was my free day but i still met mabel to shop around for a birthday gift - mine. no, it's not weird cos im picky and my wishlist wasnt easy. she wanted to make sure so i came along. however it was, im really very thankful cos she made so much effort to ensure i got something i like and busied herself with my birthday even though she's leaving the next day for a 10-week overseas internship. it was also nice to have just the two of us, a rare chance this week.

i was looking forward to thursday cos the mediacorp interns were gonna celebrate for me, but due to unforeseen circumstances it got postponed to monday. was a little disappointed but no one wanted it. i must say in the end this affair probably set the stage for some pleasant surprises. since i had lunch in the pathetic mediacorp canteen eventually, beloved sheila dropped by to wish me an early one in person as i wont be around for much of friday, my actual birthday. although it wasnt anything big but inside i know she wanted to do it in person. sometimes, you just know. appreciate it, jang.

awesome dj, who remembered i was coming back office friday afternoon, even came into my secluded office to surprise me. thanks lah, bro. and last of all, xiangwei didnt sms or fb me; she chose the unorthodox and really cheered me up from sucky work by emailing me through intranet!

then filament. all i wanna say is it was great to be back in everyone's company and feel like a part of wkwsci again. caught up with so many friends and dr detenber, saw so many prominent alumni, and finally caught 明月照灰霾 and soi chang!

anyway. so i went back hall thursday night, not to clamour for a celebration, but to remove the aircon/fridge and cos next morning i gotta be in ntu. i should've known (cmon it's my third birthday in hall), but honestly i didnt. as i lied in bed a bunch of them rushed in haha. jianli, hsien, robin, yewhan, mark, xiwen, haukim, even yew chong (did i miss out anyone!), while i was also on the phone with mabel.

nice lah. thanks, bros, especially those with just days left in their hall life. im glad they didnt feed me to nanyang lake, almost unthinkable with this bunch, but well i was really really tired at that point in time.

anyway yea so the sms-es started rolling. as i type this im still quite dumbstruck. considering i had so little confidence last year, this time i was flooded with sms wishes. although as always pugi peeps sent them in, they came amidst tons of others. arent you guys like fb siao or something? i think the first one set the tone for what's to come - it was my man derek foo hahaha. i even shot back that he's damn gay to be the first. but he's a swell guy and everyone knows it.

by hall's joyce's sms i was a bit in shock and expected that to be the last. it was odd. why were friends sms-ing and not doing the convenient by fb. it says a lot about our friendships (even if they dont think so!). thanks, all who did. maehui for being funny beyond my imagination. rachael aka boon for the wonderful things you said. boss shixiong for telling me how proud he is of me and calling me "pal". lotus sj for always making me laugh and knowing i really consider her a friend.

friday, my actual birthday, was even more eventful, not so much the occasion but other happy things. for one, was the SSUEP luncheon in NTU. joan invited us the 6th to share our experience with the 7th, something she proposed a year ago, and it was great. the 7th seemed like they're good enough to take over the mantle, or even exceed us. it's good to see the seeds we sowed bearing fruit, because before this it was really non-existent. but far from being a networking session, it was really emotional for bringing us back to a year ago. i realised i havent given last May that much thought and so it was cathartic. sharing our experiences that might help them, and hearing from the wonderful comrades who went with me last year. i was really moved by the praise joan kept heaping on the 6th, and on me and cindy. maybe our batch is really better, but we can never know. and for all she said about me and cindy, i want to state that (although i had never) our jobs were so easy and we almost didnt have to do anything because we were in the company of leaders. i really feel it was a team effort. cindy and i merely coordinated. listening to, for example, the insights of jaime and manjun and the tenderness of amy and ziwei reminded me of the giants i went to China with and i can never express how proud i was to be in their company. and i feel really comforted joan was touched by my suggestion to wear 6th SSUEP's red top. the worst thing about this luncheon is probably that i rushed back to office forgetting to take a group photo with the 6th!

oh yes did i say last year our pre-departure briefing was on 7 may as well. and since fellow contingent leader cindy has the same birthday as me, it was surreal once again. it's nice to share the same birthday as someone i respect so much. what surprised me more was she actually prepared a card and present for me! my god. i feel so ashamed. you're awesome lah, cindy.

worst part of the day has to be going back to MediaCorp. i didnt clear the rest of my day (which i should have) and had to work. totally didnt have the mood to. but still there were good stuff to take away. like receiving wishes from all my colleagues was good. they're very nice people. fellow intern junn even gave me one of those small choco pies as "cake". more surprising was when marcus turned up at my office! i hadnt seen his message that he's looking for mine. other than personally wish me, he brought a kit kat chunky as present haha. that's so him.

i was almost late for filament's second night as i got complacent about the traffic. mabel and kenyee joined me and the atmosphere there was fantastic again. it was especially great to hear such positive reception towards Epiphany, the FYP film i acted in (calefare lah). and like all films ive acted in, it's always a thrill to see it screened to an audience. but more than my part in the film, i really think it's awesome lah. cheeharn, wendy, xuemei and flora did some great stuff on the screenplay and post-prod. even better was the 5dmk2. crazy shit with cinematography and depth of field.

at the same time, i flirted with the idea that friends might break out into a birthday song for me, but i was 100% sure it wasnt gonna happen, cos im kinda invisible. but, it did. and it blew me away, seriously, friends. ruiqi, pamy, jinyong, christine, welyon, adeline, thad, cheryl, wenxu, stanley, melvin, joyce, jason, jeanette, vpaul, cameron (did i miss out anyone!) thank you all so much. it might have been spontaneous and might seem like nothing to you guys, but it meant a lot to me. to have CS peeps actually singing the song for me. in front of all in attendance. i might have been embarrassed but it was good. probably the best moment for me this birthday.

the night also marked what might be the last time in a while i see some of the graduating seniors, people who played a big part in my growth in this school. i pay tribute to, especially, shixiong, zak, phoebe, ziliang and shannon. shixiong, for being probably the most important person in my CS life, period. zak, for teaching me so much about being a human simply through your actions. phoebe, for an unyielding quiet support, for being the best friend anyone can have, i'll miss you. ziliang, though i really detested you in the beginning, it's amazing how things change and you became more than a senior, but a friend, keep up your ideals. shannon, the ex army mate turning out to be one of the strongest and clear-headed people ive met, for being a pillar of strength in 16ci. ive always had this surreal feeling you guys will be my CS seniors forever, but a time comes for everyone to leave. then again, you guys will still be my CS seniors forever. :)

i concluded 7 May with a birthday celebration at last. my hall clique organised something at punggol park for the May lot (four actually). it was nice and cosy. i really liked the place. the food and beer werent fantastic, but they're good. and the hall people are such a funny and real bunch. thanks especially to mabel, roomies yewhan and robin, ling for coming down so far, and longtime bud mel!

another random thing that made me really happy was returning to like 150 fb notifications?! all birthday wishes. i dont think anything's changed from last year but the number of fb wishes sorta like doubled i think? crazy shit. i made an effort to reply to every single and i almost died from exhaustion, dehydration, seizures, multiple injuries and old age.

saturday (yes my birthday's over), i returned to nyjc to help alma mater pugilistics society with college day. in a way it was to show face to mdm tan and coach, so i was glad i didnt have to lion-dance as per previous years. having performed for LKY, PM Lee, politicians, celebs and CEOs, this time it was the CDF Neo Kian Hong. he's an nyjc alumnus and that's something to be proud of. what also comforted me was seeing an increase in the cca's membership again. the year twos look really able, while the year ones look passionate, just like we were. as a senior who helped to build the society up, something like this is like reaping the fruits of labour. :)

lastly, but nowhere the least, is my pugi family. what they planned this year is one thing, but what set them apart was when i told eileen i wanted to K with just a two-hour notice, two hours later six of them were with me! understated, but no doubt the most memorable moment from them this year.

once again, it was thrilling. not just my birthday, but all the good things that happened this week. i feel alive again!