色难

子夏问孝，子曰：色难，有事，弟子服其劳，有酒食，先生馔，曾是以为孝乎？

色难，容易

不经一番寒彻骨 怎得梅花扑鼻香

poignant

in my final ICT, I booked out to attend the wedding of the girl who stuck with me through NS 15 years ago. life can be stranger than fiction.

"if we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed."

善良是看你站在哪个角度去看

kinda familiar

Remember that guy in army? The guy who chao keng everything and moans to others it's a waste of time. The guy who tells you to be like him, do the minimum, and get away with it. The guy who smooth-talks commanders, then badmouths them, and gives big speeches in bunk. The guy who asks you to go first when there's a demonstration or a grenade to be thrown, but is the first at canteen. The guy who doesn't sing when everyone is singing. The guy who's excused everything and hopes to be excused from more. The guy who claims he has more important things to do outside army. The guy who when exercise or test comes around scrambles for your help. The guy who doesn't grasp that others do it not because we're sheep, but because we respect NS or at least respect structure, because we know we're better as a team, because every little effort potentially keeps us - and that guy - safer. Remember him?

 That guy is today's anti-vaxxer.

"dying is the worst thing that ever happened to me."

你偷了一只鸡蛋，最安全的就是放在一堆鸡蛋里，等没有人注意的时候才去拿。

你拿着一堆不干净的钱，就放在钱最多的地方。

the storm cannot be stopped, but it can be survived.

暗白的窗纱 娇艳的兰花 相思惹红霞 心事浓如茶

all these protocols and procedures to make it seem like you have it under control.

情不知所起，一往情深
而梦中所喜，何必当真

"it was their own hubris that ended their reign, their belief that they were the pinnacle of creation that caused them to poison the water, kill the land and choke the sky. in the end, no nuclear winter was needed, just the long heedless autumn of their own self-regard."

有些人见三百次也没用

有些人见三次就够了

my top 10 films of 2020

due to the lost year of 2020, i couldn't put together a year-end list. but since it's Oscars weekend, here's my belated ranking.

1. Promising Young Woman

a relentlessly inventive and gripping film that's not afraid to take on a tricky topic - and nailed it. Carey Mulligan is brilliant here.

2. The Trial of the Chicago 7

an Aaron Sorkin screenplay is always mesmerising, but here he takes another step up from Molly's Game as director. the politics is a bit distant, but he proves once again he is the master at litigation scenes.

3. Beasts Clawing at Straws

an Asian film so advanced in all aspects it won't be out of place in Hollywood. the misanthropy hurts it a little, but it's a thrilling ride that benefits from the perfect casting.

4. The Man Standing Next

how to not love this film when it takes a genre i like and so painstakingly and gorgeously put it together?

5. The Comey Rule

a film whose importance was magnified by its timeliness. more impressively, it takes some very dry events and dramatises them a few notches.

6. 消失的情人节

probably the most refreshing film of the year. it has all the hallmarks of a good Taiwanese film - breezy, heartland and warm.

7. Nomadland

a beautiful film that's so realistic you'd think you're watching a documentary. it's heavy stuff disguised as light - just don't fall asleep. Frances McDormand and the non-professional actors present the dilemma of acting - is good acting maximum acting or when you stop acting?

8. Mank

it's not Citizen Kane level, but the dialogue is a riot. the old-Hollywood style is both the charm and the curse.

9. Tenet

if only it wasn't so incomprehensible, it would've been a classic. the ideas and the direction were groundbreaking. after Interstellar and Tenet, we now know Christopher Nolan's limit. dial back a little and i still believe he could become the greatest filmmaker ever.

10. Minari

an unvarnished look at the struggles of the outsider. that also means at times it can feel too heavy.

worst sequel:

Wonder Woman 1984 Peninsula